I was strolling down a lonely town's little downtown street with a friend a couple years back and we walked into a sweet little shop. It was one of those shops where you walk inside and your senses go wild. You smell something wonderful, hear some sweet music you can't quite identify and feel your eyes come into focus on a million little things all at once.
You find a little bar of local handmade soap carved into the shape of funky star. It's laying on this beautiful antique table with scented candles that make you wonder "who could have thought of that scent?". The table lamp in the shape of a crescent moon with twinkle lights inside. Then there is that scary handmade rag doll that is coming out of her seams. It's an eclectic world of everything.
My world was quite chaotic then as I walked haphazardly around the little tables trying not to bump things over. I am quite clumsy that way. I had gotten a divorce, lost my home, my aunt passed away, my father passed away, and I had been laid off from my dream job all in the span of a few years.
I made a crazy love kind of decision to move to a place where I could feel the sun shine on me again after I had lost my job. I had been cold living in Washington state for ten years missing California blue skies and needed some good old fashioned sunshine. I needed a reminder to look up.
It was crazy because I only knew one person and I was grieving many great losses in my life. Somewhere inside though I found the courage to move two states away. Then the courage to stay and fight out those run home blues.
On this day though I felt like I was in a tailspin hovering over those precious trinkets and odd things you really probably could live without. This is when I saw the sign that hangs on my purple bedroom wall now. It says "I love you to the moon and back".
I had been in the land of sunshine for 9 months and I had already had three contract jobs. Three times of the excitement of starting a new job, being the new girl, learning the ropes, just starting to really get it down and then... "that's all folks", "it's time to wrap it up", "job's over", "don't need you anymore", or "sorry no permanent jobs, the seasons over".
Even though I had known each job would end I still felt the sting of loss when my world would dramatically change overnight after each one. Suddenly I was to become the huntress hunting, hunting, hunting, for my prey of a new undertaking. I would work like a madwoman harder than I ever had in my life trying to prove myself only to be laid off once again.
I didn't have much money that day after having finished my third contract job and I peeked in my wallet looking at the signs cost. Then I saw it. It was 50% off! How could it be? It was such a beautiful large wooden sign.
I fell in love and decided it was an opportunity cost. I needed the inspiration it gave me to believe I was valuable and that someone could love me so much that they would say "to the moon and back".
So in that small moment in the store I found a little hope looking up at that sign being a woman, unemployed, divorced and very tired.
Rejection in life is one of those things that can really bring people to
the point of disaster. Its an endless loop of emotions, hardships that are
real and imagined telling us we aren't worth a hill of beans.
In every season there is a time and a purpose in this world we live in. So I choose to walk forward with all my current uncertainties and walking in this life without a safety net.
I keep that sign posted
high in my purple painted bedroom. It makes me smile because I do
believe a love like that exists for me even if I never marry again. I
have peace in knowing God loves me like that. He wraps me in His arms and holds me with every rejection I have in life.
He can hold you too, if you will just ask Him to.
He just loves you.
You are that valuable!